8. Five Steps to Literary Perfection...

WikiHow... http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Haiku-Poem

...A WikiHow on how to write a Haiku poem. Really?

Now, I know you can find just about anything on Wikipedia, and as such can find How-to step-by-steps on Wikihow, but I find the idea that they have instructions on poetry almost...degrading or insulting. To think it's that easy, that you can just give detailed instructions and create.

Lets look at this step by step--see if it's really this easy.

"Understand the way haiku is made. Haiku in Japanese is written in a single vertical line with seventeen sound units or mora (not strictly the same as syllables) in a rhythm of five, seven, and five. In English (a stressed language), the ideas can be expressed with a short line, a long line, and another short line."

Alright, makes sense. It's a form, and like all forms, you have to understand the parameters.

"Choose a season. Many haiku seem to focus on nature, but what they are really focusing on is a seasonal reference (not all of which are necessarily about nature). Japanese poets use a "saijiki" or season word almanac to check the seasonal association for key words that they might use in a haiku (thus the haiku is a seasonal poem, and thus often about nature, but does not have to be about nature if the seasonal reference is about a human activity). The season is important for coming up with words to use in a haiku."

Ah, I see. I just pick a season. There are only four...so, in essence, are all Haikus revolving around one of four basic themes? So for any other poem should I just pick a feeling? I'll just decide I want to write about "Happy" or "Angry"?

"Add a contrast or comparison. Reading most haiku, you'll notice they either present one idea for the first two lines and then switch quickly to something else or do the same with the first line and last two. A Japanese haiku achieves this shift with what is called a "kireji" or cutting word, which cuts the poem into two parts. In English, it is essential for nearly every haiku to have this two-part juxtapositional structure. The idea is to create a leap between the two parts, and to create an intuitive realization from what has been called an 'internal comparison.'"

Use a metaphor--crazy. No one has ever done that in a poem before. So far, all I have to do for poetry-gold is understand 5-7-5, pick a season (out of FOUR), and someone compare said-season to...anything. Alrighty.

"Use primarily objective sensory description. Haiku are based on the five senses. They are about things you can experience, not your interpretation or analysis of those things. To do this effectively, it is good to rely on sensory description, and to use mostly objective rather than subjective words."

Not quite as lame, but still, I think most good poetry does this. Your poem should have good, concrete ideas that LEAD to analysis; not just outright come out with the analysis. This is kind of obvious, when you only have the 5-7-5 form to get your ideas across, too.

"Like any other art, haiku takes practice. Basho said that each haiku should be a thousand times on the tongue. It is also important to read good haiku, and not just translations from the Japanese but the best literary haiku being written in English. To learn haiku properly, it is important to take it beyond the superficial or even sometimes incorrect ways it has been taught in most grade schools. It is important to distinguish between pseudo-haiku that says whatever it wants in a 5-7-5 syllable pattern and literary haiku that adheres to the use of season words, a two-part juxtapositional structure, and primarily objective sensory imagery."

Practice makes perfect!? WHAT?


Ugh. This just makes me angry. The point is, even with a literary form as simple and unmoving at the Haiku, no five step program is going to create something substantial. Art is not an algebraic formula, and no one will be able to say X+Y+Z with a dash of R= Poetry Bliss. It just doesn't happen that way. And if it does, something is wrong.