30. What to Do... with my Haiku! (haha)

Alright, so the haiku exercise we did for class...

I really want to use it for my final binder. A few times now I've tried to rewrite it into a poem, trying to use some sort of form, if not a strict one, but it just isn't cooperating. There is a lot of superfluous stuff in my original assignment, which I plan on cutting out/re-writing/re-placing, but the problem primarily is figuring out what kind of form to wrestle it into.

My original work:

Jenna Harvie
Haiku practices

closed bedroom door --
her shadow darkens
the crack of light
--Penny Harter

While sitting in class: the Haiku seems rather harmless. It’s a homework assignment, a nicely simple image, but nothing more than a poem in a form you don’t particularly enjoy.

While watching television, a crime series: the Haiku seems like it fits perfectly in that world. It’s a scene in your head and it flashes in to be part of the episode. You have to remind yourself later that you made that part up.

While walking from your car into your house, at night, alone: the Haiku is suddenly very sinister. There’s a person waiting for you, now, hiding just out of sight. You don’t notice the small details that would give away their hiding place. You are afraid. When you get inside, you lock the doors, and wonder if you locked the stalker inside with you.

While sitting in the living room talking to your parents: the Haiku is slightly silly, but still heavy. The “her” is now your sister, standing just around the corner, listening to your conversation. She misunderstands the context and becomes upset. Again, you have to remind yourself this did not really happen.

When playing with your friend’s baby, in her room, with the door slightly open: the Haiku is foreboding. In your mind, your friend watches through the crack and sees how happy you are tickling her beautiful baby girl. She worries why she can’t keep that happy attitude all of the time. Later, she will contemplate walking out and leaving the baby alone, with your smiling face as the goal and guilt in her mind.

When watching television, a comedy: the Haiku is funny. You imagine the door is open rather wide, but a large man in a Hawaiian print shirt still manages to block out all light. Joey and Chandler exchange rude, but funny, remarks at this man’s expense. It is all in your head.

When sitting alone, in your bedroom: the Haiku is a painful reminder of the death you’re still reeling from. You are alone, with a dark shadow that lurks over you always. You try to find the light, but it is snuffed out with every memory, happy or sad.


I tried it already in my own created form (a convoluted but excitingly challenging form that consists of quatrains and tercets, with a rhyme scheme and a series of repeating lines), but it was much too strict for this form. I gave up on stanza three. The same was true of a pantoum.

Should I write this just in stanzas, should I write it freely, is there a form I'm missing that might work? Maybe some level of anaphora?

I'm very open to suggestions, thanks!