17. Ghazals, Pt. 2.

I've already done an entry on Ghazals, but after having read some, and more importantly heard one--I might need to revise my previous "It could be cool" idea.

I love the concept behind it, but there are some things that just become too distracting in poetry, and I think that constant repetition is one of them. In the example I heard read aloud, the word was "erosion"...there are only so many times you can hear that before it gets a little redundent. Part of it is I have a lot more trouble comprehending poetry when I don't have a copy of it in front of me, but sometimes it gets to a point where you start to think "Wow, when is this going to end?" The anaphora example with the horses was another one of those, like we talked about in class.

I just think it's important you keep your reader's attention (maybe that's obvious, but it's true), and though using the same word in new and interesting ways is possible, I haven't really found a Ghazal yet that I've enjoyed. They just become redundent.

Separation from companions is unwise
Treading the path without light is unwise
If the throne and scepter have been your prize
Descent from prince to pauper is unwise.
For Beloved, the you in you is disguise
To focus on the you in you is unwise.
If once to heavenly abundance you rise
Desperation and impotence is unwise.
Hear the thief’s greedy and fearful cries
Fraudulent deception too is unwise.
Able-body, chains & shackles unties
Idleness of such a body is unwise.
Your foothold gone, your soul freely flies
Wingless & featherless flight is unwise;
Given wings, reach only for Godly skies
Flying away from God’s Will is unwise.
To you, phoenix, demise is mere lies
Phoenix running from fire is unwise.

I can appreciate elements of this... the different situations set up before "unwise," the fact that the actual lines keep my attention...until I reach the end. Because I know what word is coming. I like line breaks because you go to the next line and see a word that you didn't expcet; this is the exact opposite of that. And then, with this one, there's so much rhyme! It's just a big example of "expected" for me.

We all have forms we don't like...I guess this one is mine.